"There was a young man who said though
 it seems that I know that I know,
what i would like to see
 is the I that knows me
  when I know that I know that I know."

"numbers are confusing"

"I have spent most of the day putting in a comma and the rest of the day taking it out."

"Windows Vista is like a Ferrari... It's expensive to own and fix, and makes you curse like an Italian."

"It isn't easy to keep your mouth and your mind open at the same time."

"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."

"I thought I was wrong once. I was mistaken."

"I thought I was wrong once. Turned out I was right."

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless
Christmas dinner's dark and blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey's point of view.

Sunday dinner isn't sunny
Easter feasts are just bad luck
When you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.

Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too
'Til I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner's point of view.