"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Use it up, wear it out. Make it do or do without."

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."

"Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow."

"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."

"The surest sign of intelligent life in this universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

"Number of Vulcans needed to replace a bulb? Precisely 1.000000."

"You mean there's a black Stormy?"

"There's a fine line between interest in a hobby and mental illness."

"Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics: Even if you win, you're still retarded."